it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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