Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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