Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
