Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
wow bdsm is so cute
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
