what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
