I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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