birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
