I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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