3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
