Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
