We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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