I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
