I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
