You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
