I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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