Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
