Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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