Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
