We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's blow job season.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
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