Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
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