I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
we have officially lost it.
I just cut my nipple shaving
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
