My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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