So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
