I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
