My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
she peed on how many people?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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