i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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