no, he came in my armpit
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
