C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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