Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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