im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
