So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
