but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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