why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
