No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
