i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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