can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
