my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
