I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
