Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
