A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
