I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
