I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
