I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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