Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
