WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
