i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
