somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
