It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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