I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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