You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
